It has been made evident that the world has been a harsh place throughout history. 

Humans have turned against each other through intellectual, social, and ethnic prejudices. It is easy to feel alone in this world when you are aware of the judging eyes everywhere you turn for things that should not matter. 

It is not universal that humans are social beings, and, typically, people prefer to surround themselves with similar types of people. Frequently, this means excluding others and even outcasting them from society. Nearly everybody has experienced being an outsider, whether it was not knowing anyone at a new school to not having the “must-have” item that everyone else seemingly had. The experience of being an outcast is not universal. This is because the feelings associated with being an outsider are circumstantial, people react differently, and people have varying degrees of introversion. It is impossible to have the same experience as everyone else with these conditions. 

Being an outcast or socially inept is rather costly. It translates into a less memorable and productive life experience. Like what happened to Natalie Cordova, a fictional character from the book entitled The Bullying of Natalie Cordova written by Kennon Keith. Her family and classmates’ hatred, abuse, and treatment led her to take refuge in revenge. But if that is something you would instead learn to avoid, this article is for you. Though it is a subjective topic, here is a step-by-step breakdown of your typical anti-outcast life strategy.

7 Ways On How Not To Be An Outcast

1. Work on Y-O-U First. The only thing separating you from anything, any goal or objective, is you. Within reason, of course. But there are no actual walls between you and your entire social life. The only thing hindering you is the unique “story” you define yourself with. Change that first. Work on yourself first. If your attitude is wrong, nothing else you do will help all that much anyway.

2. Read Some Dale Carnegie.  If you are a college student today, good ol’ Dale is a bit before your time. If this was the only book you have read for personal gain, it is a perfect option. Odds are just like the countless thousands before you; you will reread it and take notes and memorize his simple concepts. 

3. Be the Good Servant.  At all times, look for ways to be of service to people without causing them to lose face or put yourself in a position where you get taken advantage of. When you have the opportunity to be of service, go above and beyond 100% of the time. 

4. Grow Up.  “Grow up” could mean all different things. This is referred to as how you choose to project yourself to other people via your outward appearance. It does not mean caving in, selling, or wholly selling out. It simply means letting the world around you know that you have self-respect. And by all means, sport some personality in your style, but make sure it is clean. If you do not take yourself seriously, hardly anyone else will.

5. Say These 2 Things All the Time.  To be clear, these are affirmations, and there is no question that they work miracles. Worldly and successful well-connected people use them every day of their lives. However, embody them when you say these 2 things to yourself consistently (ten times a day for a start). Make it real! Get into it! 

  1. “I meet the perfect people for me every day.”
  2. No matter what I choose to say or do, the right people see and hear me.”

6. Play to Your Strengths.  It would be best if you played to your unique traits (strengths) in light of the last statement. You are the only thing that sets you apart from everyone else, so express yourself and be unafraid. This is the most direct route if it is the respect you want. When you stand as yourself and play to your strengths, bold before the insecure eyes of your peers, they will be drawn to you and associate you as a “really cool person” that appeals to everyone.

7. Understand the 6 Human Needs.  The more knowledge you have about what every human being needs, the more equipped you can use this to your benefit (and theirs).

  1. Love
  2. Uncertainty/Variety
  3. Comfort
  4. Growth
  5. Contribution
  6. Love/Connection

Parting Words

As you can see, ninety-nine percent of what it takes to avoid being an outcast in life is psychological. And no, that does not mean you think you should be a psych-major.

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